Today my world is changing...(A post started on Feb. 25th)

(I started this post on the day my daddy died. I used it in my talk about him at the services. As I was thinking about him and missing him today, I decided to come in and post it for others to see and spend a minute thinking of him with me.)

My dad, who is one of the most wonderful selfless men I know, is leaving us to go be with our Father in Heaven. My dad has been there for everyone, friends, family, strangers, you name it. When Mitch and I were both going to school and dirt poor, my dad came up with a solution for high rents and crappy apartments, he decided he would build me a house to rent. Sounds crazy right? Well, thats just what he did. From drawing the plans, to carpeting and tiling the floors and painting the walls, he did it all. ALL of it. Minus one or two things we finally convinced him to pay someone to help him with. Just as he did when building the home my mother and him shared with us kids and his parents, he worked tirelessly all day at his job at Workers Comp, and then came home and put in all the hours until dark he could fit on the house. His entire Saturdays were devoted to what big project he could finish on the house. For as long as I can remember, he was always like this. He fixed every car every time we had a problem, which was a lot, because he loved buying quick fix cars!



I think tomorrow I may post my entire talk I gave at his funeral for anyone who'd like to read it again. It's hard to believe he's been gone from this earthly life now for about a month and a half. I love that Benji still will point out "Papa" in a picture. It will break my heart when he forgets. We're getting ready to sell his boat soon. It hurts us all to do it, but we have no way to pull it and with all these little ones in our lives now, the boat isn't really something we can use too much right now.
I'm 10 weeks pregnant this week, and I constantly think about my dad watching over both my little ones. I know that he is and that he loves them so much. In life, he was extremely dedicated to his grandbabies. Maddy, Caden, and Benjamin were his best friends in the World next to my momma, of course. Lucas showed up a month before daddy left us and though my dad was very weak, the first time he held him you could see the love in his eyes as he stared down at that little newborn.

I love you and miss you dad.

Thanksgiving, Snow time, and Benji's 1st Haircut!

 I can hardly keep up with this kid anymore! Now that Benjamin is walking like a pro, he is everywhere. His personal favorite things to do include; opening kitchen drawers, climbing into kitchen drawers, pulling everything out of kitchen drawers, walking away with contents of kitchen drawers and hiding them, running over whenever mommy opens the fridge and climbing on in, taking heater vent covers off and dropping anything he can find into them, whimpering everytime he trips so that mommy will say "Are you ok?", running over to the basement and front doors whenever someone looks as if they might be headed that way and then throwing a huge fit when not given the opportunity to either go outside or play on the staircase. In other words, finding lots of funny ways to drive mommy nuts!
On the other hand, he has found many extra irresistible things to start doing to balance the scales, these include; constantly pointing at things and asking "eh?", dancing to anything that could possibly be or turn into a beat, finding every opportunity to come up to me, lay his head on me and give me a big hug (which includes pats from each hand), big sweet open mouthed (but only for mommy, everyone else is offered the cheek) kisses in multiples, fetching his blanket through the crib bars from outside it and wandering around holding the softness to his cheek, laughing whenever one of us comes into view from another room, excitedly running away laughing when we come closer, listening very carefully to us when he's told "no no" about something we don't want him to touch and then asking/affirming "no no" by waving his arm back and forth at the same something and grunting in a serious way at it and looking back to us for assurance, driving cars all over the house with engine noises, imitating me clearing my throat,  asking for his milk with a sign, and then continually surprising us by adding signs like "more" "bath" "please" when we think he's totally forgotten us teaching him them, getting excited and then waiting patiently when I start putting on his jacket and shoes... Oh the list could go ON and ON!
So, because his pros outweigh his cons, I guess I'll keep him around!

Benji loves the Snow! We took him outiside after our first big snowfall, all decked out in his snow gear and he couldn't get enough. He couldn't walk in it very well but he really enjoyed sitting in it and sweeping it around with his mittens...that is until they got snow in them!

Benj and his 2nd cousin Jared

This year for Thanksgiving we planned on making it to 3 dinners, we went to my Aunt Tammy's for the 1st one, then stopped by the Tongan side for the 2nd, and were exhausted at that point and were running too late to make it to the Harward side.

Benji, me, and his 2nd cousin Elias

Maddy playing with Benji, I believe she is being his puppy.

We had a great day though and on the weekend got to spend time with my sister Jana from AZ and her family. Benjamin just adores his older cousin Maddy, who is 5, and she adores him right back. It is so fun to watch them interact. She loves to play with him and read to him, and he gives her lots of hugs and sometimes even wants her to hold him!



Also, we cut Benji's hair about a week ago and we just can't get enough of how cute he is! His short hair makes him look like a big toddler and has really brought out the light in his hair even more so!
I have been busy with Christmas shopping and planning a lot of homemade gifts this year, so as I finish them I will post them! Have a great December!

Before

During

Afterwards

Birthday Time!

Benjamin turned the BIG ONE a few weeks ago! I can't believe our little Benji has been with us for 12 whole months already! It seems like it was only a few days ago that I was wishing they would just let us take him home, and then getting home and realizing that the being up all night was going to last the rest of my life! Boy am I glad that was so short, it is only 3 months but it feels like an eternity when you're in it!

Benjamin has been such an amazing blessing in our lives. Everyday he makes us laugh, feel sad (for him), want to purchase ear muffs or tear our hair out, and love him unmeasurably.  He has changed so much in such a short amount of time. He is walking around now like crazy, he started the day before his birthday party. It is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen, when he falls, he just picks himself right back up and walks again. He drives cars around making "bbbbbbbppp" sounds, he signs eat/food anytime he sees anything he might like to try, he drinks cows milk like a pro, and gives mommy big open mouthed kisses often. When asked for a kiss by daddy or anyone else, he offers his cheek or head. He hugs and kisses his toys, but also swats at them when he's feeling tired and onery. He gives big squinty eye, cheesy grins when I get out the camera, see first picture for example (don't ask me how he figured that out!). He adores his cousin Maddy for some reason (dispite her mothers disclaimers, Maddy believes that she will marry Benjamin in the temple when they grow up, Lol! ) and always thinks all kids want to be his buddies. He is still very tall and skinny, with a big head. He's 8th percentile for weight, 80th for height and 80th for his head.

For Benji's party we had a big baby dino themed bash with Tongan food and a huge cake.  His wonderful cousins danced and he got loads of presents and a pretty good amount of cash for such a little guy. We are so lucky to have such amazing family who love and support our son so much! I'll have to blog later about the different things I did for his party to tie it all together. It was a lot of fun!

Benjis talks...or not

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Summer Time!

Benjamin Tangi Tatafu, 9 months

Benji and I on a break on our drive to Wyoming

This summer has flown by for us. We had Jana and her kids out in Utah twice and we took a short trip to Wyoming with the Harward family. Benji has been growing and changing like crazy. He can now do 6 signs (when he feels like it, not when I feel like it, sadly!) milk, water, eat/food, more, fan, and all done. He also waves, dances, crawls really fast, pulls himself up on everything, cruises, and constantly makes a "huh/hmm?" sound. He is 10 months already and I can't believe that a year ago today I had already had a baby shower and was preparing for Benjamin to come, while being insanely uncomfortable at night. He has been such a blessing in our lives. Here are some pictures of our summer so far. I have finally got my internet issue with my computer fixed so hopefully I will finally be able to upload many more pics.

Benji & Daddy being silly

Old Faithful with Grandpa Folau

A grizzly in Wyoming

Benji at the Logan Zoo checkin out a Tortoise

Daddy and Benji

Life is too short

My dad has been really sick lately. He is often in lots of pain and nauseated or dizzy. He has been to the ER two times because his pancreas is not working right. The doctors said he either has chronic pancreatitis or pancreatic cancer. We don't know which yet. If it is just pancreatitis, he will probably need to have some or all of it removed and become diabetic, but the other option is far worse. Pancreatic cancer is one of the worst cancers because you don't usually feel anything until its much too late and cancer has spread. My sisters and my parents both think he only has a matter of time, though I choose to think that he does unless we're told otherwise.

This whole situation has had all of us reflecting on my dad and all he's done for us, and everyone around him. My dad is the most hard working, selfless person I know. He fixes cars for his family, builds houses to shelter them, lends them money interest free when they are in a tough spot financially, gives great advice, fixes everyones computers, does carpeting for people in the ward, and jumps up and gets to work whenever someone needs some help. He is a wonderful husband, father, and grandfather to us all. The kids can't get enough of "Papa". Benji always has a smile ready for him, and his first real chuckle was at Papa.

I had my dad and mom start a list of things they are going to do whether or not my dad has cancer. Saving for retirement is all well and good, but what if something happens and you don't make it to retirement age? Money is not only meant to be saved, it is also meant to be spent. You can't take money to the other side, and no one there cares just how much you had or made, but you can take, and keep forever, the memories you made. Some things we came up with are; renting a houseboat on Lake Powell with the family, Hawaii with the family, and Alaskan cruise without the family, and they are thinking of seeing the small island my dad lived on for part of his mission in Japan that my dad reminisces about every so often.

Keep us in your prayers, please. :)
Here are some pictures from the last month since I know can get my huge pics onto the internet.

Fun in the Sun! Benjamin's 1st Trip

For spring break we went with the Daffern side of the family down to Anaheim for a week and did 4 crazy days of Disneyland and Cali Adventure. He was such a good baby! He only cried when he needed a diaper change or to eat, and he smiled constantly. He only went on two rides, cause most of the time he was sleepin in the stroller so we didn't want to take him out. He went on the Pirates ride and a toy story ride. He seemed to like them, he stared around with huge eyes taking in all the colors at least. So cute! He just loved his cousins Maddy and Caden. He stared and smiled and laughed at them anytime they turned their attention on him, which was A LOT. Those two always wanted to play with him, my favorite questions were "Can I pet your baby?" -Caden or "Can I hold Bean?" -Maddy at Disneyland standing in a line.The kids had a lot of fun there and us adults did too! I can't remember if it was once or twice we left the kids to go to bed with grandma and grandpa to babysit and went to the parks by ourselves in the evening to ride the thrill rides. I love when we get to spend time with Jana and Lee because as a couple they are a great match for us. It's really too bad for us that they live so stinkin far away! At least we have Nick and Liberty here, they are the same way. It's nice to have a couple on each side of the family that we have so much in common with. Anyway, it was sad to say goodbye to the Gardner's but we are glad we had the opportunity to spend so much time with them! Here are some cute pics from one of my cameras!